What’s Stopping You?

January 5, 2011

“Go! What’s stopping you?” is the slogan used by a major airline here in the U.S.  While this question is written to inspire people to fly with their particular company, it provides good food for thought for us all.

What’s stopping you from living the life you know you could be living?  What keeps you from chasing (and catching) your dreams?

Fear of failure?

Lack of belief in yourself?

The poor economy?

Most of us could legitimately claim at least one reason for not whole-heartedly pursuing our dreams, but if we allow those things to hold us back, we will eventually be left with nothing but a long list of “what could have been.”

As the airline motto implies, it’s time to leave all excuses behind and start moving forward in the direction of your dreams. Start now!   Instead of focusing on the reasons why you can’t, make a list of all the reasons you should and can, and redirect your thoughts toward those instead.

At first, this may take some conscious effort on your part, but aren’t your dreams worth it?

STOP complaining and rationalizing away your success.

GO in the direction of your dreams!

And don’t give up until you see those dreams come true!

God Bless!

Coach Becky J. Taylor

Bold New Day! LLC

Personal Development Coaching for Women

http://www.boldnewday.com

Follow Your Passion!  Pursue Your Purpose!

Become the Person You Know You Were Born to Be!

 

Coach Becky J. Taylor (Bold New Day! LLC) specializes in Personal Development Coaching for Women, based on Christian principles. She is available  for personal coaching, group coaching, face to face or phone coaching sessions, speaking engagements, women’s events, and workshops anywhere in the continental United States. http://www.boldnewday.com

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Love Story

January 7, 2010

Yesterday, I attended the memorial service of our precious friend, Bishop Charles Johnson.

Bishop Charles was a unique and remarkable man.  He had a true passion for souls, and made it his mission to carry the message of God’s love around the world.  From the backwoods and hollows of West Virgina to India and Africa, he was unstoppable!

Back in October, when the doctors diagnosed him with leukemia and sent him home with a prognosis of two days to live,  he traveled instead to North Carolina and preached to one of his many beloved congregations.  He had unfinished work to do and no man was going to tell him he couldn’t do it!

Bishop lived and ministered for three more months, not two days as had been predicted.  His desire to live and preach God’s Word was stronger than the disease that was trying to take him.

Bishop Charles was a great story-teller!  In his 50 plus years of ministry, he’d had many adventures and could describe each of them in a way that made a person feel as if they’d been right there beside him in the experience.  Many of his stories were hilariously funny and I often found myself wiping away tears of laughter as he spoke.

Even though I’d only met Bishop Charles six years ago, I felt I knew him fairly well, but it was not until his memorial service yesterday that I realized the legacy of love he was leaving behind.

Hundreds of people flowed into the auditorium to pay their last respects, and being very much a “people watcher” I couldn’t help but notice what a diverse group they were.

There were men and women in fur coats and fancy hats, as well as tattooed biker types with pony tails and tattered jeans.  There were old people and youngsters, people with perfect hairstyles and buttoned down collars … and a half-dozen or so with their hair dyed in all the colors of the rainbow.

Those who stood on the platform and spoke at the service were equally varied in their culture and color.

As I watched and listened, one thing became undeniably clear … not only had Bishop Charles Johnson preached the love of God to the nations, he’d practiced it!  The variety of people in attendance at his home-going celebration was a testimony to that fact.  As different from one another as we might have been, we had one thing in common.  Bishop Johnson loved us all unconditionally.

In his lifetime, Bishop Johnson was a great story-teller.  Ironically, it was his life itself that was the best story of all.  It was a story  written in accordance to God’s greatest commandment …

“Love One Another!”

Rest in peace, Bishop Charles.  May the lives of those you’ve touched continue to carry your story of love and acceptance to the ends of the earth!

Becky J. Taylor

http://www.boldnewday.com

January 7, 2010

Stress Stoppers, Pt. II

November 11, 2009

Stress Stoppers, Pt. II

More Ideas For Controlling Stress

(Continued from November 3rd Blog Entry)


6. Be A Good Neighbor!
Focusing on someone else’s needs can help to get your mind off your own problems for a while.

Tip: Visit a shut-in.  If there is an elderly person who lives alone in your neighborhood, buy an inexpensive bouquet of flowers for them and stop by for a visit.  No doubt, you will make their day (and probably yours too.)

Volunteer for a local charity of your choice.  Serve hot meals to the homeless, spend some time helping out at the local animal shelter, or read books to the kindergarten class at school.   There are numerous opportunities available to brighten someone else’s day.  If you have trouble locating an opportunity, check with your church.  They’ll likely be able to point you in the direction of someone in need of a helping hand.

7. Put That Adrenaline to Good Use!

Does stress have you feeling like you could crawl out of your own skin?   Are you overwhelmed with nervous energy, or feelings of anger toward your situation?  Use that negative energy to attain a positive goal.  Tackle a task you’ve been avoiding, such as cleaning out that closet or garage.
Tip: Gather unwanted items together and organize a yard sale, or donate them to a thrift store or homeless shelter.

8. Breathe In, Breathe Out!

If you’ve ever given birth, chances are you were taught some form of breathing techniques to help your body relax during contractions.   Similar exercises can also aid in regaining control of your body’s reaction to more familiar stress.  You can do this anywhere, even at your desk amid all the chaos of the workplace.

Tip: Relax your shoulders and neck.  Breath in slowly through your nose for a count of seven, then exhale through your mouth for a count of eleven. Repeat this several times over. It will slow down your racing heart and lower your blood pressure.  As a result, you will feel more calm and in control of your situation.

9. Take It Outside!

It helps to simply remove yourself from the stressful environment, even if only for a few moments.  Take a brisk walk, or just step outside into the sunshine.  A brief change  of scenery will boost your mood and help clear your mind.

Tip: When the weather is nice, take your breaks and lunch outside.  You’ll feel like you’re miles away from the office.  If for some reason you can’t go outdoors,  make it a point to leave your work area for a few minutes several times a day.  You may be surprised at the difference it makes.

10. Reward yourself!

During times of stress, you may begin to feel you have nothing to look forward to.   That can lead to potentially dangerous complications, such as depression.  Promise yourself you are going to indulge in a special activity you enjoy, and set a date or time to do it.  Don’t cancel your plans, it’s important to keep this promise to yourself.  Reminding yourself that you’re going to have a break in your stressful routine can help considerably!

Tip: Take yourself to dinner at your favorite restaurant or buy yourself that great pair of shoes you’ve been dying to have. (As long as you know that spending a little extra money won’t add to your stress afterward.)   Treat yourself  to an ice cream cone, a day at the lake, an afternoon at the park, or your favorite movie.   Anything goes as long as it’s something special you can feel excited about and look forward to.

BONUS:

11. Keep The Faith!

Prayer, or talking to God is a great form of stress relief for those who believe.  It helps to know there is a Supreme being, one who is all-knowing and powerful, yet still cares deeply about our individual needs.  This knowledge ultimately gives us hope and the strength to carry on during times of stress.  In fact, studies have shown that people with deep religious beliefs are better able to cope with stress than their counterparts who do not hold any particular religious beliefs.

Tip: Talk to God.  You don’t need a script.  There are no “magic” words or prayers you need to memorize in order to get His attention.  Just talk to Him as if He was sitting right beside you (because He actually is!)  He is listening and He cares!

I leave you with this scripture from Philippians 4:6.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”

God bless!

Becky Taylor

11/11/09

What is stress? I’m glad you asked!

According to dictionary.com , stress is:

“A specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism.”  

or “physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension”

Of all the definitions listed, I think this one sums it up best: 

Stress is “the physical pressure, pull, or other force exerted on one thing by another; strain.”

This definition probably refers more to stress on tangible items, like crowbars against automobile rims, but I believe it also applies to the way stress feels to us.  If you’ve ever experienced stress (and if you’re old enough to read this, it’s safe to say you have) you’ll definitely identify with that feeling of  “force” being exerted on you by something, or someone in your life. 

Stress comes in different forms and as humans, we’ve developed many individual methods of dealing with it.  Some of us more successfully than others.  If you happen to fall into the “less successful” group, take heart!  You can learn to identify and conquer the stress in your life and even put it to work for you!

In order to understand effective methods of dealing with it, it’s helpful first, to identify the different types of stress one might encounter.

Consider these categories:

Shoo Fly!

This is “everyday” stress.   Everyone experiences it.  It’s the stress you feel when you’re late for an appointment because you got stuck in traffic.   It’s the familiar feeling of having too much to do and too little time in which to get it done. It can start in the morning when your feet hit the floor and last until you turn off the light that night. It’s that force that constantly presses on you during the day from all kinds of people and circumstances.  Like a fly that keeps circling you at dinner, “Shoo-fly” stress consists of all the minor annoyances that plague us on a daily basis.

Cute Kitten:

This stress is actually good in nature, yet it requires something out of the ordinary from you, therefore force comes into the picture.  It might be a much desired move to a new house, your wedding day, or a brand new baby in your family.  We look forward to these happy occasions, but they all require action from us above and beyond our normal routine and are therefore stressful. 

Little Foxes:

This type of stress is a bit more serious and tends to require more of our attention.  It’s the kind of stress that happens when your plans are upset by an unexpected event that suddenly takes priority.  Your child gets sick at school and has to be picked up, despite the fact you’ve got three appointments scheduled that afternoon.  If you cancel your appointments, it could have long term effects on your business.  Or say, you get caught speeding and have to explain to the nice officer exactly why you were going 75 m.p.h in a 60 m.p.h. zone.  The officer might invite you to visit the judge and tell him your story instead.  Whether in the form of looming deadlines or impending court dates,  this kind of stress is capable of  keeping you awake at night. 

Wolves At The Door:

This stress is relentless and you probably feel like you don’t have much control over it.   It wears on you for long periods of time, and keeps you constantly aware of its presence. Overdue bills combined with inadequate finances, as well as unhealthy long term relationships, all cause this kind of stress.  The effects of this stress carry over to other areas of your life and can leave some pretty serious damage in it’s wake.  Many consider this the worst kind of stress simply due to the nature of the beast.  It might not be any fault of yours that it’s landed on your doorstep, yet you are helpless to make it go away.

Shark Attack:

This stress is traumatic and can have a permanent negative impact.  “Shark attack” stress leaves you emotionally disabled.  Situations  like the unexpected death of a loved one,  suffering horrible abuse at someone else’s hands, or losing your home in a fire are a few examples.  While it isn’t quite as common as the other forms of stress, it isn’t something that can be ignored.  The majority of us will encounter this serious form of stress at one time or another.  Most often, victims of this stress need professional help to reach a satisfactory recovery.

So, there you have it!  Stress is “a physical pressure, pull or other  force exerted” on one thing (you!) by another (person or situation.)

Stress is inevitable.  As long as we have breath in our body, we will have stress.  The good news is this; there are many methods of minimizing the negative effects of stress.

We’ll cover that next time!

God Bless!

Becky J. Taylor

CTA Certified Life Coach

http://www.boldnewday.com

Sept. 28, 2009

Don’t Worry! Be Happy!

February 13, 2009

My five year old grand-daughter, Esther had a doctor’s appointment yesterday afternoon.  She listened intently as the Pediatrician explained to her Mother that he would get a “diagnosis” and decide whether or not Esther needed medication for her ailment.   At the word “diagnosis”, Esther’s cheeks grew red and her face took on a somber expression.

She looked at my daughter, Emily and said, “But Mama! … Diagnosis is what they give the kids at the St. Jude Hospital for children!”

Because Esther’s experience with the word was limited to what she’d learned from a few brief moments of contact with t.v. commercials, she believed that “diagnosis” meant something terrible must be happening to her.

Thankfully, Emily was able to reassure Esther and help her to understand that a “diagnosis” in her situation was not going to result in a long hospital stay or the potential loss of her beautiful blond hair.  Now that Esther has been educated, she’s no longer worried about the consequences of being “diagnosed”.

I must say that Mamaw Becky feels better now too!  I can’t stand the thought of my precious grand-daughter being frightened so badly by such an imaginary threat.  I am so glad she spoke up and voiced her concerns to her mother!  Otherwise, she could have literally worried herself sick over her impending “diagnosis”.

Research shows that the vast majority of  things we worry about never take place.  This is probably due largely due to the fact that we we base our reactions on incomplete, or unrealistic information.   Most often, if we take the time to investigate we will realize that our concerns are a bit on the irrational side.   When all is said and done, it becomes obvious that all our worry has been in vain.

What a waste of time and brain cells!

The next time something happens that causes your “worry alert” bells to go off in your head, resist the temptation to give in to feelings of fear or dread.  Instead, focus your emotional energy on finding the facts about the situation at hand.  Chances are you’ll find your concerns are either unfounded, or at least that the circumstances are not quite as bad as they first appeared.

As the old song says, “Don’t Worry! Be Happy!”   Try it!  I know you’ll find it a much more appealing alternative.

In Closing …

December 17, 2008

The last, and most important aspect of living your purpose is that you MUST use it for the good of others! As much as  God surely loves you, He did not place your purpose inside of you merely for your own benefit and enjoyment.

If we see the fulfillment of our purpose only as our own reward, then nothing lasting or worthwhile will really ever come of it.   We’ll either use our personal experience and knowledge to help empower others, or we can keep it all to ourselves and have everything we’ve gained in life buried with us when we die.

Purpose was intended to be an eternal thing.  If handled correctly, your purpose will go on long after you’ve left this earth.  Only then can it be said that you’ve succeeded in that which you were sent here to do.

So!  Let’s just say you have a good, solid idea of what you are supposed to do with your life.

What’s next?
You have to go for it!
Are you sabotaging your purpose?   Is there something you’re allowing to stop you from pursuing your dream?

Rarely, if ever, does a person become what they are meant to be without a good deal of effort.  No doubt there will be obstacles in your way.  This can create what I refer to as a case of the “buts”.

“I’ve always wanted to travel, BUT I just don’t have the time”  “I’d like to go to college BUT I’m not smart enough”   “I’d love to work in the medical field, BUT no one would ever hire me …”

Well, what I like to say in response to those types of statements is,  it’s time to start kicking “buts”!!

If you really want change in your life, you’ve got to overcome the things that are in your way.  You’ve just got to go for it!  Don’t worry about “failure”. Everyone messes up once in a while. That’s how we learn! Don’t even think of it as failing … think of it instead as “successfully finding a way that doesn’t work for you!”

Learn to view negative experiences as “life lessons”. Everything, good or bad, happens for a reason.  How we use our experience is up to us.  You can actually choose to use the stumbling blocks in your life as stepping stones on the pathway to your success!

So …Make a plan!  You wouldn’t leave on vacation without some idea of how you were going to get to where you wanted to go, would you?  Sit down and write out your goals in life. This will be your road map.  Include what you want to do, and when you want to do it. Then, construct a time line. Break your goal down into smaller “bite sized” pieces.  Start with a ten year plan, break that down into yearly increments, then on to monthly, weekly, daily plans, etc.

Remember, just like traveling in the physical sense, you should expect a few detours along the way.  Don’t worry about them!  Enjoy the journey, knowing that as long as you maintain focus, you WILL arrive at your intended destination.

Once you know you’re living your purpose .. LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!!
It’s wonderful to realize a long sought after dream.  There’s nothing quite like looking back at all the hard work you’ve put into achieving something and seeing how it’s paid off! Celebrate!  Enjoy your moment!  You deserve it!